Thursday, January 27, 2011

How To Save Your Relationship - Relationship 101 Basics To Help You Right Away

by Will Scott

When you are looking for how to save your relationship it makes the most sense to start with the basics and build your way up. Your effort might be admirable, but if you go about things in the wrong order you may actually make things worse and drive your love interest further away, maybe even for good.

You know, the government and our parents require that we spend (and waste?) a lot of years in primary, secondary and even college classrooms. They teach us lots of basics in math, English and science; most of which we quickly forget. But something usable like Relationships 101 is glaringly absent from any curriculum.

So here is a little bit of what I call Relationships 101 to teach you how to save your relationship. It is not uncommon for a relationship to hit a rough patch, in fact it is more common than not from my observation. One problem is that many people give up too soon.

Many of these relationships can be fixed, but never get to that stage because one or both parties got angry or were hurt and never saw past that. There may have been a little too much self focus or even near sightedness; concentrating on today and forgetting to look forward a ways.

There are times, too, when only one person is interested in how to save your relationship and that just does not work very well. Both of you need to be concerned with your future together and need to be willing to work at the relationship to keep it healthy and especially to repair it.

Before criticizing your partners behavior toward you, take a look at how you have behaved toward them. We are not assigning blame here, but that's part of it; do not try to blame him or her without checking your own words and actions.

Remember, all I ever needed to know I learned in kindergarten? It is kind of like the golden rule, do unto your partner as you want them to do unto you.

Do you want him or her to be selfish and always demand their own way? Probably not, so make sure that is not what you are doing. How often do you think of what you can do for them without expecting anything in return?

If you have been together for a while, you are probably comfortable around them. That is good on one hand, you should be comfortable with someone you love. But it is bad if you are taking them for granted or doing things you would not do in front of someone new. Think about that one.

Pretend you have just met this person and are courting their interest. How would you dress, what would you say, how would you act? Try that and see how they respond and hopefully even reciprocate.

If or when they hurt you, calmly explain it, and tell them you expect differently. Maybe they do not even realize it. Open a dialogue so that you both can work toward the same goal of saving your relationship together.

A relationship is a journey, sometimes the road is paved and sometimes it is not. Do not give up when you hit that rough patch.

Continue your quest on how to save your relationship, do not stop here. Find out more complete steps including "Relationships 202", "303" and so on at our website.

Happiness in your relationship is our goal. Stop over right now at http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com.

About the Author

Here are some easy first steps in how to save your relationship. Visit http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com for more specific advice on what to do and how.



Mr. Scott has enjoyed assisting people with relationship and marriage issues for many years now. Please note that he may occasionally receive some form of compensation when recommending other experts services or products.


Monday, July 6, 2009

Moving On - How To Get Over The Last Relationship

by: Susan Lancaster

Whether you finished it or they did, the best thing you can do is accept that whatever you had is now over. The memories will fade with time and you need to focus on healing yourself, so firstly think about all the great times you had together. Then really think about how you felt, were you that happy? Did you have to compromise anything? Was it supposed to be about you but actually ended up being all about them?

In many relationships you think you are truly happy but then they end and then analysing and looking over the events that happened and enjoyed in a different light, will help you see what was really happening because if the relationship is over, it is because it wasn't perfect - so stop making it perfect in your own mind.

Now focus on some of the bad times, did they cheat? Did you cheat? If so why? What did you or they see in someone else that you didn't have? The answer will probably make you feel like it is your fault but no, if for whatever reason you aren't exactly what that person needs to maintain a successful relationship, that is no one's fault. You might just simply be wrong for each other. You can still be madly in love but wrong for each other, especially when you think about having a successful relationship means two people living one life. How much did you compromise and how much did they?

The important thing is to see your old relationship for how it actually was, were the best times that good? Were the bad times trying to tell you something! Now think about what you have learned about yourself. What are you prepared to do to make a relationship work going forward and would you really compromise yourself that much again?

Then focus on you. You have good qualities and have things about you that make you who you are, what are they? Write them down. Was there anything you old partner used to tease you about? Your hair, face, teeth or body and then think about what you know could be improved. Would improving some of your not so great bits make you feel better? Joining a gym or a new dating agency could help you establish yourself in a new light. You are a person of value and worth and you deserve to be respected and end up happy in a loving relationship and although that last one failed, there could be someone who is your true love just around the corner.


About The Author

Susan is a dating counsellor who helps couples and singles in the singles world. Susan works for Lovestruck.com who let you search and meet singles who live in your city. If you live in the UK then why not try dating in london and meet professionals, for a date at lunchtime or after work!

The author invites you to visit:
http://www.lovestruck.com